Giving yourself grace

Giving Yourself Grace in Difficult Times

Life isn’t always smooth sailing. Whether it’s a demanding work project, a personal setback, or the unexpected challenges that are inevitable. During these moments, we are often hard on ourselves, expecting ourselves to navigate adversity with unyielding strength and perfection which is just not realistic. With social media, there are also those who feel the pressure of having to put up a good ‘front’ so that they are not perceived as a “Debbie Downer.”

What if the key to moving through these challenges is not in striving for perfection and instead, it’s extending grace to ourselves?

Here’s how you can give yourself grace in difficult times and create space for growth, healing, and resilience:

1. Acknowledge Your Humanity

Everyone stumbles; everyone struggles - it’s just not always openly shared and especially not on Social Media. It’s easy to look around and assume others are handling their challenges effortlessly, however, the truth is that we’re all human. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed, to take a step back, or even to fail.

Action Step: When you find yourself being critical, pause and replace self-judgment with self-compassion. Practice affirmations such as, “I am doing my best, and that is enough.”

2. Adjust Expectations

During tough times, expecting yourself to perform at 100% and beyond can lead to burnout. It’s important to adjust your expectations, set realistic goals and do not compare yourself to others. Remind yourself about what is essential and a priority today. What can be postponed? Prioritize progress over perfection and let go of your need to have things perfect as that can make you more frustrated and upset.

Action Step: Each morning, identify your top three priorities and allow yourself to say ‘no’ and delay less critical tasks without guilt. Sometimes you just need the space to feel yourself again without having to tend to other people and other things. If that’s the case, can you spend 10 minutes first thing in the day to do something just for yourself and not for anyone else?

3. Embrace Rest and Recharge

Our culture often glorifies busyness, however, rest is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. Giving yourself grace means recognizing when you need to step away and recharge, even if it feels counterproductive and you may feel as though you are lazy. Rest can make you more effective in the long run.

Action Step: Schedule moments of rest throughout your day. It could be a 10-minute walk, a mindfulness exercise, or simply making and drinking a cup of tea. Someone asked of me this week if I could revisit my nightly routine of making my tea before I wind down. He said that I could still make my tea and do the things that I need to do alongside my tea, though the emphasis was to make my tea and not skip it for whatever reason.

4. Celebrate Small Wins

In difficult times, progress may feel slow and it’s challenging to remember that every step forward counts. Acknowledging small wins can build momentum and remind you of your resilience.

Action Step: At the end of each day, write down one thing you accomplished or a moment you handled well. Acknowledge the win, no matter how small the win.

5. Seek Support

You don’t have to navigate challenges alone. Reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Sharing your burden can lighten its weight and provide fresh perspectives and ideas. You may be surprised at who steps up support you in trying times.

Action Step: Identify one person you can talk to this week about what you’re going through. Remember, connection is a powerful healer.

6. Practice Self-Forgiveness

Sometimes we’re hardest on ourselves when we make mistakes and we can focus our energy on the things that we could of and should have done. Instead of dwelling on what went wrong, focus on what you’ve learned and how your lessons can help you move forward. Forgiving yourself is a powerful act of grace.

Action Step: When reflecting on a mistake, write down what it taught you. Then, release feelings of guilt or shame by reminding yourself that growth comes from your experiences.

7. Cultivate Gratitude

Even in difficult times, there are good moments even if you can’t see them. Practicing gratitude can shift your focus from what’s going wrong to what’s right, helping you to see resilience and hope.

Action Step: Start a gratitude journal. Each day, write down three things you’re thankful for, no matter how small. When times are hard, it can be challenging to be grateful. Do your best.

Giving yourself grace is not about lowering standards or giving up—it’s about creating room for self-compassion and growth. By treating yourself with the kindness you would offer a dear friend, you’ll find strength in vulnerability and resilience in the face of adversity.

The lessons you learn and the grace you extend to yourself can help you grow to be a better version of yourself.

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